I would go days without eating
I would let my bones show through
the lace of my skin
And you can be ashamed if you like
because I was
Wide Open SpacesSome sick fuck
Half inanimate object
The man, forty stories up
Hurt me, hurt me
The closest to the edge on the day she was meant to bow
"Thank you, I'm all better now"
Forty story man doesn't look out
at her feet
on the other side
This song goes out to you, ghost boy.And maybe you
too much of your own music
I am violin string, broke on lonesome.
You are an LSD trip inspired tattoo,
words to your tongue you can't take back.
and my head said
you won't fucking forget
you can't stop dreaming of
in all it's grand cliché
and the music.
my speakers are broken
but that never
the words from flowering out into the air
and so can you blame me
to your name
People are big and scarySometimes
a human life is too big
and I am too small
and I think
if I squeeze hard enough
that I'll disappear completely
I don't believe in godAnd, as hard as it is to believe sometimes, you just want to feel like someone is guiding you.
Dragging your hands forward to the asphalt.
Pinning your wrist bones to the skin of your palms.
As you, or was it Jesus, who saved you from falling head first.
Into the man-made black, flat as waves.
The taste of your bleeding tongue.
The sky, trees and houses tipped around you like the cateye of a marble.
And some sufferer, buried in regret and silence.
Both creeping towards our death day where, goddamn, we finally get to read the answers in the back of the book.
Do single-cell organisms go to heaven?
And why allow me to learn my lesson.
But yet I keep writing, starting every sentence with "And"
Comes with a swordOne day I'll tell them everything I never talked about
The women at the support group
the strongest people I've ever met.
Jawbones made of steel and fractured jade
He pushed her up against a wall and broke her nose
Her eyes fill will glistening compassion
when she speaks of him.
How can you not see how brave you are?
The strongest people I've ever met
Fighting wars we cannot speak of outside this room.
I wonder how many of us will live through love
And of all the prayers for me, I hope my prayer for them is answered
Because some will return to their husbands fists.
The sun is shining outside
so I pray that they resist.
Praying mantisThe praying mantis
in my spot
on my sofa
I eye him from across the room
with his hands, brown spikes clasped together,
prays about as much as I do.
And equally as sucessful.
In the dark shade of the room.
His glassy eyes watch me watch him,
the light from the window reflected like TV screens.
His arms still fixed
the tips touching
still muttering under his breath.
He stays for long
but I daren't break his trance
in my chair
in my space
with nowhere to go but home.
SuckerEvery little thing
You mustn't be so forgetful
This is you
I'll sit on my porch when you go.
And through Monday, too.
Why not April, September?
This is me keeping secrets behind sour eyes
And my heart doesn't lay still
for very long
My insides twist
when I wonder where you are
This is me,
Exam SeasonExam season!
I know what that means -
Endless restless nights,
Between caring too much and not enough;
There's just so much stuff
To drill in!
And the threat of failure
Hangs over you like a fairytale curse
Because there's nothing worse
Than not being good enough.
But let me tell you this -
There's more to life,
More to you
Than A B C D E;
Exams don't measure your worth.
Can't you see?
You are so much more
Than the number they assign you.
Love yourself this exam season.
But don't tear yourself apart
By pushing yourself clean off the edge.
Death Of YouDeath came and took you away
Finding it hard to make it through another day
I tried in vain to remove the pain
How many more tears must I cry before everything inside me dies
Feels like a knife cutting deep into the flesh of my life
Killed by the loneliness I am forced to keep
Heart Broken beyond repair , forever buried in despair ...
GayI am gay.
I'm not a disease, I'm not a problem
I'm not an affliction
I don't need treatment.
I don't need help
I'm not sick
I'm not confused
I'm not a sin.
I am gay.
I'm your daughter
Your co worker
A complete stranger
I am gay.
I need love, just like you
I need smiles
I need support
I need a hug
I need a friend
I need a family
I need acceptance
I need understanding
I need you
I am gay.
I know what love is
I know what pain is
I know what hate is
I know what life is
I am gay.
And I need you to love me
The same way you loved me before you knew
I am gay.
And I have experienced hate
From more people than just you
I am gay.
And I wont change.
I wont give up.
I wont back down.
I wont pretend.
I wont lie.
I wont deny.
I wont hide.
I wont hurt.
I am gay.
And that's okay.
How To Not Be Hated By Society: A Foolproof Guide1. Don't be anything but white.
When you're black, people will hate you,
because you look ghetto, and uneducated.
But when you're white, people will hate you,
because you look racist, and stuck up, and unapproachable.
And when you're anything in between, people will hate you,
because you're different, but not different enough, and there's no one to stand up for you.
So actually, don't have skin.
2. Let other people decide who you spend the rest of your life with.
When you're gay, people will hate you,
because it's unnatural. You should have control over your mindset, and so should total strangers.
When you're transgender, people will hate you,
because you challenge their religion and deities don't make mistakes, so obviously you did.
Do I even have to explain this? It shouldn't be your own decision who you fall in love with.
Your emotional compatibility and well being don't matter at all.
You'd clearly get more sympa
limited stocki am nothing more
than this serotonin-starved
my oxytocin is overwhelmed
with winter's frost, its faded
fondness reached recession
seven years ago.
i remember wretched weeping,
dry-eyed as i discovered that
my own brain had betrayed me;
it never taught me how to love.
my heart is something seasonal,
and i'm so sorry, darling.
The Girl Who Was Afraid To BeShe speaks to me fondly
of passions and talents,
of guitars and stars,
with such breathless intensity
then stops short and
for speaking at all.
All because somewhere in her life,
someone she loved broke her heart
her beautiful words
and telling her to
keep it down,
People aren’t born sad.
We make them that way.
This Is SchizophreniaI feel like I'm talking to myself,
and not in the humorous way,
not like the, I'm “going” insane way
because I am Insane.
I'm insane in the sense that I can hear
things that aren't necessarily there,
things that burrow their little bodies
inside of my ears.
And insane in the way I see things, things that
you can't see. And trust me it's
nothing to “feel” special about, not a magic act,
not a special power that I harness.
This is schizophrenia.
This is a delusion so real and “natural”
that you can't tell whether it's imagination
or something unnatural
This is a nightmare that never goes away,
that a pinch to the arm only angers more
than medications that are supposed to stop
the mental sores.
These are arms so red and angry,
because pinching doesn't work,
but you pinch and pinch and pinch
in order to maintain some sort of normality.
And these next few lines are not to
dote down on Christians, because
I'm one of you. Just God's
forsaken child, I
You Can't Compare PainAny pain is valid.
Some pain might be stronger than others,
And might be there for more tragic reasons.
But don't tell someone to be tougher.
Because someone else has it rougher than them.
The person you're saying that to
While the stuff they're going through
Might not be as bad as stuff others are.
It is still pain.
And pain hurts no matter what type of rain
Whether a drizzle or a downpour.
You're still going to feel the ice cold water pellets
On your skin.
I've heard someone say,
That you can't be depressed because you have a roof over you head.
And while I am very, very sorry that some can't say the same.
You should be ashamed
For saying such a thing.
Pain is not something that can be ranked,
It is not something you can compare.
We all still feel depression and despair.
Because we're all humans with emotions
Everyone gets sad.
So don't go and make someone feel bad
For feeling a certain way.